Sleeplessly forging a new identity...
Before I start...I just wanted to let everyone know that I would kill for my mother's lasagna right now. Or for a US weekly detailing every move that Angelina and Brad are making. Or for my tempra-pedric mattress....
A very intelligent person told me before coming to Vietnam... "Vietnam is not going to change who you are...you might develop a few different habits, but you will come back and be the same person". Yeah, I'm not sure if I agree with that. But at the same time, Its 6:00A.M. right now, and I am sitting here typing a blog entry. At least I finished the essay that is due today for my Vietnamese Politics class. But man... I had hoped Vietnam would give me better sleeping habits. I get less sleep here than when I was working 12 hour days at Hollywood Video + Dreamland Preschool.
If I can at least hope to be a changed person in some ways...these are the things I hope for: I hope to live every day to its fullest. I hope to seek friendships in new people. I hope to make sure- everyday- that my best friends know that they make my life wonderful. I hope to not take any small luxury for granted. I hope to improve my vocabulary (in Tieng Viet and Tieng Anh), I hope to stop and smell the flowers.
They say that every 7-10 years or so, on a molecular level, we are completely different people. On a spiritual level, I hope that this change can take place in 4 months.
Nothing will ever change my belief about fate. I don't believe in it. But as Sean says, every person is obligated to doubt every belief and thought, just a little. And reflecting on that bit of doubt in my mind...If there is such a thing as fate, then I hope it is in my fate to never ever stop learning....and to sleep more. And if fate is real, then it was definitely my fate to be here. I think I'm really lucky to have developed an interest in the coolest country in the world (besides America...America is really pretty cool).
I am having an amazing time here learning about Vietnam. And I hope that some people can learn from me too. I'm now teaching at Dai Hoc Ngoai Ngu (University of Foreign Studies). Besides having to sing "Hotel California' in front of the whole class, I've been asked many questions about America and the world, and I am happy to share my experiences with them. I wish every one of those students would have the opportunity to see the world like I have. In reality, perhaps only a handful of people on this entire campus will be able to. It would be nice to be able to see the world as they see it...living here, interacting here, studying here, breathing here...it doesn't help me see it through their eyes at all. I try. But I try while listening to my $400 IPod. I want to grow, and I believe my experience here will certainly provide for that. But forging this new identity of mine..Its really an inner struggle. I think the aforementioned person was right, in a way. Vietnam will not change me. I have to change myself.
On that note. Its fully bright outside. I'm going to use that light to dive into a little Issac Asimov. Nothing will ever change my love for him.
posted by Steffanie @ 3:55 PM
1 Comments:
Hi Stephanie. I just wanted to comment on the quote that Vietnam might not change who you are...ecc. I'd have to disagree with that person. I believe when you live/study abroad outside of the country you grew up and really take in the culture and understand it... it'll be difficult not to be changed. And often times when people can succeed in letting go of their values, temporarily at least, you can see life in ways that you've never seen before. And if anyone has that kind of experience it doesn't matter where you are, I believe it can change your life. Maybe that person didn't see some things. I know a person who went to African that changed her life. Mine has changed since going abroad. anyways ciao! -Satoshi
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